As a counterpoint to outrageously expensive meals, how about some stupid, unethical, and somewhat scary stories about how I ate on the cheap while in school? Note that I don’t do any of these anymore. (Unless left alone for more than a month, then I regress…)

1. Bringing Ziploc Bags the Dorm Dining Hall. You know you’re not supposed to, but when you’ve just spent all your money on a fancy date, you bend the rules. Our dining hall was pretty much a buffet and I would make entire sandwiches and put them in ziploc bags for later. Cost of lunch: 6 cents for the bag.

2. Crash Random Student Association Meetings. “Why yes, I would like to join the Society of Hypercompetitive Brainwashed Kids ...