President can launch a full investigation. “We will find where ScapeGoat hid your bonus checks, if it’s the last thing we ever do!” And the investigation will last long enough that it WILL be the last thing he ever does.When creditors come calling… It’s ScapeGoat’s fault.When the media wants to know why there are no women on the Board … It’s ScapeGoat’s fault.When the fish in the creek all float like the graphs (upside down)… It’s ScapeGoat’s fault.When the wind blows too strong on company property and knocks over a soda can, spilling an employee’s drink and making him very thirsty…

ScapeGoat’s fault.MegaCorp needs a scapegoat.HR Lady asked another question. “What have you been doing these past thirty years.”The fact is that I had been freelancing. There are lots of people who need scapegoats. Drivers, for instance:”What?!? My brand new car!”"ScapeGoat crashed it.”"But…but, there’s hardly anything left of it!”"ScapeGoat is very thorough.”Parents need scapegoats, too.”Where’s little Cindy?

Too many people were losing faith.”ScapeGoat distracted you again?!? That makes, uh…let me see, 6,342 days in a row. Little Cindy isn’t that little anymore. Just who is this ScapeGoat person anyway, the Tooth Fairy?”HR Lady laid her hands on her desk. “MegaCorp has always done quite well without a professional scapegoat. When we need somebody to blame, we can always find someone to play the role.”She was not cluing in. I was offering MegaCorp the chance to use a professional scapegoat, instead of constantly relying on amateurs, some of whom were not even willing players.

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