Christmas presents so beautifully only to have others rip off the paper?Watch a blue movie or two, then you’ll probably figure out the answer all by yourself!12. If Santa has a weight problem, why do we leave him milk and cookies? Shouldn’t we leave him a salad and water?Look, there’s nothing wrong with having lots of love handles. Besides, I think you’re getting me mixed up with an alternative-lifestyle Easter Bunny who’d be only to pleased to smoke your weeds and walk on water, if it would make you and your friends happy.13.
Christmas songs you hear on the radio are sung by dead people?Whoa, they haven’t all croaked yet. According to “Santa’s Good Time News Service”, Elvis was spotted just last week crooning, “Blue Christmas” at a rock’n'rolling retirement community in Bootlegger Crossing, Arizona!14. Isn’t it a worry that Santa is an anagram of Satan?At least Santa and Satan know what’s “red” hot and what’s not. God probably has more to worry about in the anagram department than Santa or Satan.
If a wise woman had come to the Nativity, she would have brought diapers, wouldn’t she?If I’m not mistaken there were several signs hanging on the front door of the Inn: “No Vacancy”, “No Admission Under Any Circumstances”, and one in even bigger, bolder letters — “Wise Woman Not Welcome Go Away!”… and your point was?16. If it’s true that Santa is magical then why does Christmas Eve take so long?Santa didn’t invent grandfather clocks, glow-in-the-dark watches, or other bleeping gadgets and gizmos. If you want to complain, I suggest you contact the old coot in charge, “Father Time”.17.
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