Better yet, take a break. Try watching the deer and the antelope play on the back forty…”where seldom is heard, a discouraging word, and the skies are not cloudy all day.” It’s way more rewarding than watching soppy soap operas or a fancy fella dispensing dross to dysfunctional divas, disadvantaged doorknobs, desolate dorks, delusional duffers not to mention one too many detached dingbats.20. What do parents living in warm climates tell their children about Santa Claus? After all there’s no snow in most places and it’s far too warm to be wearing that red suit.
Christmas dinnertable. As a matter of fact, he wears a chartreuse thong or a scarlet pair of bikini briefs underneath his red tunic — just in case he needs to slip into something more comfortable during his visit to Hellhole Palms (California), Boneyard (Arizona) and Weeki Wachee (Florida).21. How come there isn’t a “Trading Spaces” TV show for Christmas yard decorations?It’s not enough the world’s falling apart because golfers and gadflies don’t know how to swing a hammer and nail for Pete’s sake!
Are Santa’s Elves the same elves that are the Keebler Elves? After making toys, do they moonlight by baking cookies and crackers?Our delightful, double-duty, efficient elves are far more productive and happier than the one-size-fits-all’ sort of wee folk who work in many sweaty sylph shops around the globe.
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